I plan to talk a bit about motherhood on this blog. Mostly, it’s because I was born to mother. And I’m not just talking about my kids. I feel like I’ve spent my life mothering in one way or another. It started with mothering my brother when we were kids and my parents were divorced. I simply got to spend a lot of time alone with my baby bro, and while this had its ups and downs for the both of us, I do feel like it was the beginning of my mothering tendencies (as well as the extreme protectiveness I feel towards him). This tendency ‘to mom’ passed along to many of my friends through adolescence, college, marriage, motherhood and even now. I have what I think is a deep need to take care of other people. I don’t always like this job, but I was dealt a set of cards and my ace-in-the-whole is the ability to nurture those around me.
For the moment, I just want to pass along a story about my kids and being a mother to them. There’s no heavy purpose or message in this story, really I think I just want to talk about my continued amazement in regards to the little things that happen in life and the importance of noticing them. This morning, my 11-year old made me (yes, he made me) take this Undertale quiz to find out what color my soul was. I don’t know about you out there but I have a serious gamer in the house, and Undertale is his game of choice for the moment. I’m not hugely impressed by this game and the videos that go along with it, but that’s another post altogether! I’ll admit that a lot of the time I dismiss his commentary on gaming, it is SO hard for me to be interested in games, I just can’t!! But, sometimes I do because I know it’s one of the ways we can stay bonded together. That being said, I reluctantly went to his computer and took the 10 question quiz. It had very similar questions to what you’d find in any personality test but tailored to the Undertale audience. Turns out I’m a purple soul. Purple equating to Perseverance. And, in case you don’t know, perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. This gave me some pause, because lately I feel that this statement pretty much nails me right on the head.
My choice of tools according to Undertale: Attacks with Books and Negative Words; Heals with Positive Words.
Wow, I mean is Undertale watching us through my sons computer screen? Is there some sort of A.I. in there? I’m freaking out a little bit. I’m famous for my lectures around this house! Words are definitely my thing.
Moving on to my son’s quiz. Not surprisingly, he’s a red soul. Red equating to determination. Determination meaning firmness of purpose; resoluteness. OMG people. This one word is the summation of my son. I could throw a few more in there, but this boy is determined in everything he finds passion in. Not to be confused with everything he does, because that would be a false statement.
So, I want to get back to these moments and noticing them when they come along. In this 5 minutes we spent together taking this quiz, we discovered that he’s determined and I’m persevering. And, that my friends, is exactly what’s happening between us at this particular moment of our lives. This is not new to us, we already knew this was happening, but isn’t it amazing that a game would pull out this precise circumstance so quickly and easily? A reminder perhaps, or maybe the universe noticing us and what’s happening in our world, just between the two of us. My son is dealing with depression, and it’s not an easy thing to go through. We’ve met with, talked with, and seen several people including doctors, naturopaths, psychologists and friends and family to help him through this ‘black hole’ as he puts it. We’ve discovered so many things about him, about other people, we’ve been led down the wrong paths and are still trying to figure out the right paths. We’ve questioned and researched so many different things. He’s got an incredibly sensitive soul and he’s supremely smart and I think we’ve discovered a gap there where one is working on catching up with the other. He is determined, sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. And, I’m over here just keeping up, I do feel steadfast in my passion for my son’s wellness. This has been difficult and still is and we’ve achieved a modicum of success, largely in working with a naturopath from across the country, but we aren’t there yet. There’s work yet to be done, and we haven’t even hit puberty yet, but it’s creeping up on us, like a creeper from the depths of Minecraft. Ugh, and I can definitely wait for this, can’t we just delay it for another 5 years or so?
Momming: That thing your mom does when she’s driving, you’re in the passenger seat, and she comes to a hard stop, so she puts her hand out to stop you from moving forward.
I’m definitely momming my way through life, trying to protect those people around me that I love. It’s my most passionate pursuit, but without question, the hardest one. Working and wifing are a piece of cake in comparison!
Take the Undertale quiz yourself and find out the color of your soul.